Unlearning Unhealthy Patterns
Its common knowledge that you get better at the things you practice. As you repeat thoughts, habits and skills they can become second nature. The same logic applies to healthy and unhealthy things.
Classical conditioning is a basic form of learning. It’s a well-known and well-studied principle in psychology that influences human health, motivation, emotion and used in therapy of psychological disorders[1]. Ivan Pavlov, born in the mid 1800’s developed his theory of learning by accident while studying digestion of dogs. He started to notice that dogs started salivating slightly before their food arrived. To test his theory by ringing a bell shortly before giving food to the dogs, at first the dogs elicited no response, but with repetition, the dogs began to salivate at the sound of the bell alone.
In classical conditioning, a neutral stimulus is a stimulus that at firsts elicits no response (introducing a ringing bell). An unconditioned stimulus is a stimulus that leads to an automatic response (food). The dogs salivating in Pavlov’s experiment was the unconditioned response and the conditioned stimulus is the stimulus that can eventually trigger a conditioned response. In the experiment, the conditioned stimulus was ringing the bell and the conditioned response was salivation.
Understanding how we learn through classical conditioning is important when considering learning that happens unconsciously. Operant is another theory where learning happens though a series of rewards and punishments. Verbal learning occurs through communication (signs, pictures, words). Observational learning happens through observation and imitation of others. We learn at a young age, to integrate what we learn into our lives and often end up repeating cycles – even when we wish we wouldn’t.
Falling into a trap of bad behaviour goes back to the way you learn and the pleasure of the reward, or the pain of the punishment. Some people learn their lesson after making a mistake quickly while others second-guess themselves. For example, have you ever been asked “are you sure about eating that?” or “do you really think that’s a good decision?”. Comments like these can plant a seed of self-doubt and second-guessing, making it difficult to make decisions. It makes learning difficult when you’re in fear of judgment.
Whatever the underlying reason for the repetition of unhealthy cycles, here are a few ways of working through them and engaging in behaviour that will help you[2].
- Make a record of patterns of behaviours. You can do this through journaling, blogging, social media, podcasts etc.
- Determine your triggers. These are things that can really push your buttons and put you on edge to illicit an exaggerated emotional reaction, beyond what should be expected. You can start by asking “what is this reaction I’m having to this event?”. Is it really about this event, or a cumulation of all the events like this one?
- Understand your response to these triggers. What do you do when X happens? Is it an expected reaction? Would others respond this way in similar circumstances? Would you like to respond differently? It’s important to understand your responses in a non-judgmental way without shame since its part of the process of understanding yourself.
- Develop a hypothesis. Brainstorm what the underlying reason behind your behavior patterns, triggers and responses are. When did it start and what is your earliest memory tying you to this emotional or mental reaction? When do you remember thinking this though? What messages are you telling yourself about this situation or event (a mental health professional can help with this process).
- Is this belief or behaviour serving you? Be honest and ask yourself if it’s in your best interest to hold on to this pattern of behaviour. Does it make you a better person because of it, or chip away at who you are/want to be?
By uncovering the way certain patterns develop, how behaviours are learned and what your triggers are, you can start to unlearn the things that might be holding you back. If you learned to engage in unhealthy behaviour, you can unlearn it too.
[1] Classical Conditioning (2022): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470326/
[2] The Gottman Institute. Repeating Cycles and How to Break Them: https://www.gottman.com/blog/repeating-cycles-and-how-to-break-them/?utm_source=instagram&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=blog&fbclid=PAAaZAWx68aYsaaIFTAIO5cpUXN_OlDsf_x7GTgnOYtszXgzD2WbTBRhMhBh0_aem_AYXEks6npONXuXA2TcqZklgDYb4Y0b2YhxY7_eykGD-Vr1GnZtPuEO1ymgdOy-Vs_o0